Lists and Snakes and Choosing Worship

Do you like lists? I do.

I like to-do lists and grocery lists and packing lists. Christmas present lists and birth date lists. These kinds of lists keep me organized and help me remember things. I like being organized. I think that may be why I like lists so much.

Some lists are just for fun. They pull out the irony or comedy in a situation. Like a list I made a few weeks ago. Really, I reduced a brief incident that played out in our front yard to a simple list. It looked something like this:

A List of Horrifying Things

1.  Micah saw a black snake.
2.  He caught the snake.
3. He brought it home.
4. He taught Moses (who is four) how to properly hold a snake.
5. When they let the snake go into the MOWED grass (not overgrown grass!) it instantly disappeared.
6. Moses cried and was upset for quite some time about having to let the snake go.
7. To help him feel better, Micah informed him that there are lots and lots of snakes living all over our yard.

This list I wrote just to bring a little humor out of the situation. I really don’t mind snakes all that much. Actually, my husband dislikes snakes as much if not more than I do. The fact that he brought one home to show the boys despite how much he detests them really shows what a good daddy he is!

So there are helpful lists that keep us organized. There are funny lists that make us smile. But there are other lists…lists that aren’t so helpful, and not the least bit funny.  Lists about people and circumstances. Lists with unspoken titles (we’re too ashamed to put a name to them and admit what is consuming our thoughts!). Lists like…

All the ways this person has harmed me, or drives me nuts

All the things that are unfair about this situation

All the things I do that no one appreciates

The suffocatingly long list of expectations others (or I!) have placed upon myself that I’ll never be able to plow through

Rarely are these kinds of lists are neatly numbered and jotted down on lined paper. No, we keep these lists in our heads, so they are easy refer to or add to...and lest anyone see our list and get a glimpse of our ugly thoughts. And since the lists aren’t written down, we rehearse them frequently, lest we forget anything.

Lately, I’ve struggled a lot with the poor-me kinds of lists.  For example…

All the things that went wrong today

The four—no, wait, five!—times the kids woke me up last night

The countless interruptions

The whining and bickering and disobeying

The dish the kids broke

The meal planning that went haywire

The toe I stubbed

The smelly load of laundry I forgot about and left in the washer much too long.

…and the list just grows and grows. It’s easy to add to because I’m on the hunt for something, anything, to make the list longer and justify my self-pity.

These kinds of lists can be deadly to relationships and poisonous to our spirits. I’ve formed these lists more often than I’d care to admit. I love my life and I love my family…but sometimes I have a frustrating day, and that mental rehearsal starts up. It can be hard to break my thoughts away.

Perhaps…maybe…the way to fight these lists is with another kind of list.

A list like…all the things I admire and appreciate about that difficult person. Or all the things GOD has done for ME that I appreciate. Or all the things that went RIGHT today. For example…

Silky soft little girl hair

Chubby, pink-flushed baby cheeks

Bright eyes sparkling with anticipation

Huge grins with deep dimples

The giggles and laughter that fill our home

This crazy wonderful precious friendship called marriage

Another spectacular sunrise splashing color across the sky

The pink rose slowly unfolding in the vase on my counter

A dishwasher. A washer and dryer. Air conditioning. Indoor plumbing. Hot water on demand. Food on the table and bulging out of the refrigerator and pantry.

Health. Joy. Prayer. Salvation.

Jesus.

Maybe…just maybe…this list of gifts I’m thankful for will turn my heart toward my Maker, the Giver of these gifts. Then, instead of thinking of all the things that are ruining my day, I will find myself worshiping the One who packed my day full of such amazing blessings.

It can be hard work learning to discipline our thoughts. But it’s more than worth the struggle.

“We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.” (2 Cor. 10:5)

“Whatever things are true…meditate on these things.” (Phil. 4:8)

“For it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.” (Phil. 2:13)

“Oh satisfy us early with Your mercy, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.” (Ps. 90:14)